My official last day

It's my last day in india.

Wow.

I feel so weird. yet, not at all. I think that is why i feel weird. It almost seems natural to live here. I am sad to leave, but oh so excited to come home and see everyone. My bags are packed for the final time on this trip...no more folding and rolling.. eerie man. that's just plain ol' eerie.

Last night I tried to stay up late to lesson the impact of my jet leg. I'll work on napping today, and staying up for India's night tonight, on my flight. I can't wait for the welcome home bbq with my family.. eeek.

I"M LEAVING! (do i have to say it again---weird!!!!)

Thanks again for all you have been doing. It was so much appreciated!

Birthday bash, and the monster mash

(this is an older post, i put it on russal's blog by accident.) OOPS
Well, well, well.Here i am at the baby home-day 5/10. Today was Glory's birthday, one of the staff members here. So, we had a beautiful, sugary, pink cake, some ice cream and a wonderful supper of chipati and chicken to celebrate. It was wonderful! The kids were full of icing and my belly was full of good eats.I am really starting to get to know the girls. I mean, yes they are babies but boy do they have personality! Jennifer is a naughty, wide eyed wonder, while teresa loves to be cuddled. Erica is mischevious and so sweet at the same time, while angel should be named devil because she is in her terrible twos, but somehow you just love her since she is hilarious. Grace, the biggest sister takes care of the rest and points out any trouble. Blessy cries all the time and looks like a mouse. Hannah is fat, and is always chewing on something, she also rolls around really fast. She just brings joy to my day, probably because i was the fat kid, and i love that she will be too. (am i cruel or what?!) Sharron is the youngest baby, and doesn't do much but pee and drink milk.I love it here, i am doing more work now.. i kinda just started doing it! haha. So, that helps the days go by faster. At night i usually watch a movie on my i-pod...I am getting a little canada sick. I just am itching to come home because it is sooo close. I am a bit nervous if my bag will be too heavy to go on the plane, but money will solve that issue--hopefully. haha. I have four sleeps and four nights until i am on the plane. I can already smell the starbucks coffee...I have been doing some editing for Russal on his blog, and so I have been getting a lot of information on the home. The stories are incredible! There are times when i just sit here, dumb founded by what these girls have been through. It is so much crazier when you know them, but when all the editing is done i'll be sure to post the link. People are stupid and crazy. But, I am so glad for people like Russal and Kumari... I am so glad for this home

2.5 days, OH MY!

My days have been mostly the same since I have arrived at the baby home. I wake up around 7-7:30, take a shower, get ready and then go downstairs to be with the family. Sometimes the babes are sleeping so I get to bask myself in 'A Fine Balance' and read, read, read.with my tea... until my fabulous breakfast is ready. After that, i help feed the girls then hop in the van to take three of them to daycare.

After I usually check my mail and do my computer stuff. I go down and play with the babies. At one or so we eat lunch, we pick up the daycare girls, then have nap time. i don't usually nap anymore. I have been packing and cleaning. I usually take another shower then read or listen to music until everyone is awake.

The evenings are basically more playing, changing diapers, and rocking Trisha to sleep. Apparentally I spoiled her a little too much one day and now my touch is the one that cures her of tears. I have to neglect her a bit now so that when i leave she won't cry all the time. That really sucks, since she was one of my favorites. She thinks I am her mom....they told me i had to take her home. haha. Imagine! Me, 18, with a baby.. first of all it's super illegal and second..I DONT WANT KIDS! (not yet, maybe not ever.) Then we eat supper around 7:30-8:30 and hang out for awhile. I head up to bed, watch a movie on my ipod or go on the net. Then i sleep tight, and the days start over again.
It's nothing too exciting, but it's life, and it's good. This family amazes me.

I am looking forward to home. I can't wait to see my parents and the rest of my family. I can't wait for the BBQ that will be awaiting me, and to sleep in my own bed. I might tear a bit when i see a real shower, and just to have some Canadian air. Who would have ever thought I'd crave the farm smell? haha.

Thanks again.

A poopy diaper, a hospital trip, ice cream and a pedi

Well, I've had a few days at the baby home now. They have treated me so super! I feel more like a guest, but I try to help out where I can. I change diapers, and make funny faces/noises. I hold and rock babies when they cry... And i try to do the dishes.. until they notice then they make me stop. haha.

So, I have a story for you. In all my years of babysitting and what not I have never had to change a poopy diaper. I don't know how i managed this. But none the less, it happened. I knew it woudl happen here, i mean, how could it not-with 9 babies and all.. For the first 3 days it didn't happen. Could i possibly get away with this? Well, i think not. Teresa was my number one poopy diaper change. It was runny and gross.. plus they don't really have cleaning supplies so i had to run her under a tap, wipe her up with a piece of cloth and rinse the cloth diaper under a tap until the poo was gone. Yum. But, I managed.. and now i am basically a professional. haah. NOT. (remind me never to have children.. tee hee.)

A blond moment. Haven't had one in awhile so it was about time. I got in the van and tried to move these mini fans they have all around. You know when you're little and you wonder what will happen if you stick your fingers in the fan.. well, mine slipped and my fingers look like gills on a fish. I went to the hospital to get cleaned up, and some ointement. It wasn't as horrifying as i thought. but yes, one visit to the hospital, 70 rbs... less than two dollars.

I went shopping for the day, got some last minute things. i can't find vogue anywheres so i need to do that later. I was looking and looking, and almost at the point of giving up when a light of happiness spread upon me...a LAKME SALON! I got a pedi, for the cost of 5 dollars! I wanted to cry. my feet no longer feel like sandpaper... and as i was walking out.. what do i see.. a nice a/c ice cream parlor... could this day get any better?

I am looking forward to coming home, 6 days.. I feel like i am just exsisting through the days. I am looking forward to being busy again.. but, i guess i should enjoy this while i am here since i'll only be home for 2 days.

Thanks for reading, the emails and prayers.
Lots of love.
Cassandra

a taste of the west, then back to the east.

I left Kollegal yesterday morning. My body was worried I'd miss my bus so i woke up at 3. 30 am, forced myself to stay in bed until 4, then got ready. I said my goodbyes to the girls, and shed a few tears. Babu took me to the bus stand and in two and a half hours i felt away from India..i was in a big city.. and SHOCKER there were people. I even saw other foreigners. And i had a donut! It was the closest thing to baking i could get. tee hee. Anyways, Lilo took me to the shopping centre, and we just walked around. I tried some interesting new fruits, and then has a western supper of a fantastic pasta that Lilo made. In the morning i had CEREAL AND BREAD WITH JAM... i never thought I would be so excited for a western breakfast. Of course i had coffee.

Again, this morning I was worried about missing my train. I woke up at 3.30, then half slept until 5.30. My train was 5.5 hours to Chennai. I could feel the heat rising. I even got a sun burn on my arm, and my face is rosy! My bag weighs about a million pounds, my real estimate is about 70. So it was a struggle getting it to stay somewhere on the train. Some nice men helped me lift it up and store it away. Thanks to them! Then i basically listened to my i-pod and started the book 'a fine balance'. At the station I found Russal quickly and it was almost 2 hours to the home.

There is something about this home that screams family. I am so happy to be here. The girls cried when they first saw me, but already after 5 hours are cuddling and playing with me! I am looking forward to a)sleeping in and b)being here at the baby home.

Keep me in your prayers in my last few days in India. (9 days... eeek) Maybe pray that i won't melt.. chennai IS HOT! today was a cool day of 90 degrees... and it rained.. a miracle! but that doesn't change that it is SO hot here.. it will probably reach about 100-110 while i am here...

Thanks again. See you soonish.

New staff, and a New Outlook

1.5 days left in the girls' home. how strange is that? well, actually not that strange since it feels completely right. I feel like i did at the January mark of highschool. Right now I am just here, i've learned the lessons, now I am just learning the facts. And really, the facts are hitting me like the heat in bombay...hard.

We've had two new staff come, that are hopefully long term. Their names are Babu and Moonie. They are wonderful people, i met them in Bangalore when I stayed with the Penny's. Their english is fantastic so it's been nice to have a few real conversations and make jokes that are actually funny. Fact number one: They are a great addition to this team.

Fact number two: I was in Kollegal during a hardcore transition phase. The reason everything seemed so unorganized simply was because it was. Sam has been telling me of some of the things they used to do, and with the new staff, and new positions they can start doing some of these things again. Phew. i was really starting to worry that these girls had too much free time. Now there will probably be little end of the month birthday parties, and more organized games and dorms. The older girls will be paired up with a younger, and there will be a head dorm girl, that helps with the dorm mothers. This will be especially helpful when the mother is foreign and can't speak Kanada.

Fact number three: I might be addicted to caffeine and sugar. I'll really have to downsize when i get home... i had a headache yesterday.. then i had a cup of coffee and it was gone.. shoooot.

Fact number four: I'll be sad to leave. Now that i see there is so much hope in this place, it would be interesting to see the progress. But, all in all i know i've made the right choice, so it's a good kind of sad, the happy kind of sad. I am glad to leave this way too, because if i was leaving in a desperate state that would ruin my time that i had here.

Fact number five: I've learned a lot of lessons. Some i can't put words to. Others i can. But, that would just be too easy of me to tell them to you.. so hang out with me and we'll see if they stick.. k?

Fact number six: I miss you all like crazy. I called shelly this morning and she said it perfectly. "I don't want to leave, but i want to come home." There are days when all i want to do is leave india, but i'll miss this place a lot. I'll miss having my regular fruit man, and the 2 shops i pick up sweets from. I'll miss walking 20 mins for a bottle of OJ.. ha, ok maybe not. I'll miss the cows on the street and the random surprises around every corner. I will miss it.. but i am excited to come home.

Fact number seven: The one word i'd use to describe my trip.. and i hope it sticks until the end..

Enriching.

Enriching.

Fact number eight: I am so thankful for all of you who have helped me financially to be here. Your money did not go to waste. I have learned so much about God, myself and I do think I've touched these girls' lives. Also i am just as or even more thankful for those who have been praying for me. I've felt your prayers everyday and I just wish i could show you how thankful I am.

Love ya'll. xo

Taking in my last moments in Kollegal

As you all know Kollegal hasn't been all ups. But, it hasn't been all downs I'll let you know that much. It hit me the other day that i really only have 2 more weeks in India. At times that number seems monstrous, and others completely minuscule. I am still looking forward to coming home, but am enjoying my last few days at Kollegal.

With the girls in school my day is different. I spend more time with the dorm mothers, cooks and college girls. I love these times. They are more like friends, than children I am looking after. In the evenings I am with Retna, helping with her baby a bit or doing dishes now that her mother and sister have returned to their village. Or I am with the girls, doing subtraction, giving medication, and visiting. One of the girls even threaded my eyebrows. It was less painful than i thought it would be, and thank goodness because my eyebrows were a bit bushy.. you may have not recognized me! (ha don't worry, no uni!)

Lots of our girls have fallen ill. Sore throats, coughs, and stomach infections. The bird flu is in Mysore which is about 2-3 hours away from here. We don't know how long it will take to reach Kollegal, so just keep that in your prayers.

Also the behind the scenes political matters have heightened. Thank goodness it is not with me this time. There is just a lot of problems with the management and teachers. So this has caused a bit of tension, and i am starting to think that this stressed caused the blow out matter that happened to me. Maybe not, but again, that was a management figure, not anyone directly at the home.

I will miss Kollegal. It's been a stepping stone in my spiritual journey for sure. It's been another home for me, a home at times i hated. I love these girls. Sometimes I think to myself how weird it is that a 8th grader is one of my best friends right now. These girls have brought me laughs, tears and I will never forget them. I am excited for the next step in my journey--Chennai. I don't know if i will be alone there or not. But, whatever is ahead for me I am very glad of my decision to go there. I will end my trip exactly where it begun. I will come back the same Cassandra with a whole lot of lessons learned. Maybe some I won't even be able to verbalize. It may be 'goodbye Kollegal' in three days, four sleeps.. ha, yes i am still counting a little. But it isn't goodbye india yet.

Thanks for you're prayers. Thanks for your thoughts. Thank you, thank you, thank you.